The Goose and Captain Martin Crieff
by Naught-But-Mortal
Summary: Set directly after S4E2-Urkerty What on earth is Martin going to do with a goose?


**The Goose and Captain Martian Crieff**

Spoilers: S4E2-Uskerty and blink-and-you'll-miss-it for S3E6-St. Petersburg

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of _Cabin Pressure_. To do so would surely cause the loss of all my earthly possessions. I have no desire to be hunched in a corner somewhere, crying over the loss my iPhone and the consequent loss of my Audible _Cabin Pressure_ recordings. I did not write _Charlotte's Web_, but I have eaten ham. I may, sorta, own Gwen, and I probably own Wilbur, but they're really stupid things to own, so…yeah.

Notes: I was listening to S4E2-Uskerty this evening and wondered over what on earth Martin would do with the goose that ate his father's ring (once he figured out which of them it was), and thus, a fic was born.

He resisted the urge to name it for two weeks. "It'll make a great dinner or five," muttered to himself, and Googled 'what do geese eat' (they ate all manner of foods: grasses, herbs, bread, hard fruits, and garbage, amongst other things) and fed the damn thing in an effort to fatten it up. The fatter the goose, the more tasty the supper.

Thing is, after those two weeks Gwen had grown on him. He named her after one too many times watching her awkwardly flapping her wings in an attempt to shepherd the kittens in the back yard of the student share house into the abandoned dog house. The act reminded Martin the goose in _Charlotte's Web_, and he found himself with the strangest of pets.

One morning, about two months after Gwen had swallowed his father's signet ring, Martin stood on the back porch of the place he called home, dressed in his uniform, one hand cradling a cup of coffee and the other holding a dish of cubed apple. Just as he was preparing to toss the food into the withering grass (it was nearing the middle of autumn, and everything seemed to be withering), Gwen waddled up to him, tucked her wings behind her back, and hunched onto the ground.

Martin was baffled. She had never done anything like this before, and he had the sudden sinking thought that, maybe, Gwen was sick. For a moment, he was surprised at how concerned the thought made him (it _was_ just a _stupid __**Goose**_ ). Then Gwen let out a humongous **HONK**! and his fears stilled. She sounded just as vibrant as she usually did; and so, Martian carefully sat himself on the wooden porch step, briefly forgetting about his Captain's uniform, and set his nearly finished coffee down next to him.

Gwen observed him blandly, but made no move towards him until he placed a chunk of apple in his hand and prepared to drop it in front of her. Before he could move, she darted her head out and snatched the fruit from his palm. Martian 'eeped' in a high pitched, startled voice; and Gwen hopped backward at the sound. They stared at each other for a few moments before she hopped back and eyed him expectantly.

He held another apple piece out and, again, Gwen snatched it from his hand, avoiding nipping him in the process. In this manner, Martin continued feeding the goose until the dish was empty. Once Gwen was certain there wasn't any more food to be had, she honked softly and waddled off to chase the kittens from where the they were huddled over a large bowl of milk (one of the students had taken to them and kept them fed).

In all the research Martin did on geese, the behavior he had seen today had only been reported in tamed geese. He pondered for a bit. 'Perhaps she was a tamed goose before the Irish man had got his hands on her. Or, maybe, he had tamed her himself,' he thought.

He sat for a few more moments before he checked his watch and gasped. He was going to be late. Carolyn would be furious and Douglas would doubtless mock for arriving with less time that necessary to do the walk around twice. He jumped up, spun around in a circle and smacked his bum for a few times, trying to make sure that nothing clung to his uniform, and then dashed back into the house, barely remembering to grab his dishes before he hurried off.

Months passed in the same way, Martin hand feeding his goose in the mornings before making his way to whichever job he was working that day, and coming home to, again, feed the animal. He grew accustomed to her presence, learning to enjoy the trust Gwen put in him, beginning to look forward to her mood declaring honks when, one day, she was suddenly gone.

He had been traveling for almost a week on a flying gig and had asked Susan, the student who cared for the kittens (now nearly cats) to look after Gwen while he was gone, and she had agreed. She too was amused by the silly way the two species interacted with each other. She was there to greet him when he walked through the door.

"Martin," she said, her face grim, "Martin, something's happened."

His heart stalled, and then started again with a painful thump. "Wha…what do you mean?" he stammered.

She dropped her gaze to the ground. "Gwen, well, I don't know."

"You don't know? Wha…"

"She's missing, Martin," she interrupted. "I don't where she's gone, but she disappeared two days ago." He brushed past Stephanie and hurried to the back yard.

She was right, Gwen wasn't. He called her name without hope a few times before slumping onto his customary step.

"I'm sorry," Stephanie said as her hand landed on his shoulder. Martin jumped. He hadn't realized that she'd followed him out. He glanced up at her and nodded. She lifted her hand and walked back into the house to leave him alone.

Devastation crept over him slowly. He blinked hard in an attempt to force back his tears as well as his emotions. Gwen was a stupid goose, for God's sake! Not worth this…feeling of loss. He'd almost succeed in smothering his hurt when Wilbur, a tom cat that had taken to following Gwen around, ambled over and pushed his head into Martin's hanging hand. Martin looked at the cat and cocked his head, still fighting for emotional numbness. Wilbur stared up at him and then placed his tiny front paws on Martin's leg before letting out a pitiful 'merow?'. The sad, questioning sound caused Martin to break, and tears fell down his face in streams. The almost-cat was missing his friend and, as Martin stared into his face, he realized that he was missing his friend too.

Time passed. Martin delivered boxes and furniture and flew GERTI. Sometimes, when he was in the air, he wondered about Gwen, whether or not she had migrated, hoped she hadn't encountered a plane on her way (this thought always made him wince as he recalled his own bird strike), whether she was happy wherever she ended up.

He had been sad for a while, and the rest of MJN's crew had noticed; but no one could get the why of it out him. Arthur had taken to singing silly songs at him in an attempt to cheer him up (and Carolyn didn't try to stop him), and Douglas wasn't quite so derogatory during their flights.

The sadness didn't last though. He rationalized that Gwen had disappeared during the migration season, which gave him peace; and Susan gifted him with Wilbur before she left for parts unknown. Before summer had wheezed its last breath, Martin was back to his old self. Arthur, convinced that his songs had been what'd fixed him, refused to stop his new routine despite Carolyn's frequent admonishments, and Douglas went back to needling him about the smallest things.

A few weeks after the official start of summer Martin returned home after another week long flight and made is way to the back yard. He glanced around for Wilbur, surprised when the cat didn't run to greet him. He started to grow worried after a few moments of calling his pet's name when a splash of white caught his gaze just peeking out from the back of the dog house. He moved toward it and then stared.

Gwen lifted her head from where it was lying on a sleeping Wilbur and let out a soft honk when she saw him. She then hopped up, waddled over to his feet, and tucked her wings behind her back. She honked again, louder this time, clearly asking for food. Wilbur, awakened by the noise, stretched and then wound himself around Martin's ankles.

He crouched down, shock and happiness coursing through his veins, and stared at the two animals. Gwen honked again, the sound laced with irritation, and Martin laughed loud and hard. "Alright, alright you silly thing. I'll get you something to eat."

He straightened and made his way back toward the house. Just before he reached the door, he looked behind him. The goose and the cat had trailed him to the porch and then sat, watching him expectantly. Martin grinned and went inside.

All was well in his world.


End file.
